Getting On The Same Page

Question: I am a big saver and “cheapskate,” married to a big spender. The more I save, the more he spends. We have two young children and I have to resort to trash picking to get the things we need while my husband drives his new sports car and wears his new clothes. He thinks he’s entitled because he’s the one earning all the money. We don’t have any credit card debt and we do have some savings — I know I should be grateful, but I’m frustrated. How do we get on the same page?

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Answer: Sometimes financial problems aren’t really financial at all. This one sounds like an emotional issue and you guys need to find a counselor to help you get this worked out. Ask your husband to give you a monthly allowance and then open up your own checking account in your name where he can’t touch the money. Marriage isn’t suppose to be this way, but until you resolve this issue it may be necessary.

As soon as you’re able, go to your pastor, rabbi or minister or find a certified marriage counselor. Keep looking until you find someone who will help your husband mature in this area of his life.

You’re right, you need to be on the same page. Having two completely different lifestyles living under the same roof will create resentment for you and confusion for your kids.